Monday 12 February 2018

#442 The Grand Mac

There it stood before me. The Grand Big Mac. I needed this. For the past couple of Thursdays, I'd planned on picking up lunch on the way to volunteering but had left late and not had time. It was 4:30pm so I sought out the fastest food possible.

For some reason, no-one had told me Macs were getting bigger. If I'd been an evil dictator, heads would've rolled for that one. Even Facebook hadn't bothered to tell me. What kinds of adverts could've possibly been more important?

I took the burger out of the box and had to grapple with it some. McDonald's clearly hadn't seen the new Matt Damon movie because they would've learned that while resizing solves one problem, it creates another. The structural integrity of the nation's favourite burger had been compromised. Fortunately, the regular version was still available.

Despite its clumsiness, I felt grateful for the gargantuan size of my sandwich. I estimated its weight to be in the region of a third of a pound. Maybe creeping up towards a half. We weren't anywhere near eating challenge territory but the need for ordering an extra item on top of the meal had partly diminished.

My main gripe with the fast food giant was that they'd decided to create a new Mac at all, rather than bringing back the legendary Mega Mac. For a start, the word "mega" was just cool in general. The name also served a secondary purpose of containing two letters "M"s, a subconscious nod to the brand. In some ways though, I understood why they'd elected to keep the Mega Mac in mothballs. It was a wild card. A novelty. Genius unappreciated in its own time. I might have remembered it fondly but the world probably wasn't ready for the return of the Mega Mac.

We'd have to make do with the Grand Big Mac. A burger identical to the Big Mac but a bit bigger. It was ok. And now that I'd eaten it, I was too.


Fizzfan said...

Yes what could be more important than advertising a Big Mac revamp! Shame on them.
I steer clear of burgers these days but have very fond memories of devouring them after a session at the gym in my twenties at dare I say it, a Burger King! I’m not sure King’s Lynn (where I used to live) had a McDs back then.
I agree the Mega Mac has a better ring to it.....Maybe they’re trying to create a notion of poshness by using the word Grand.
Do they still put those horrible sloppy gherkins in them? Was always a chore picking them out when I used to join my son in a ‘happy meal’ when he was young.

Profound Familiarity said...

Yes they do still have the gherkins, Fizz. You can imagine the length of the Facebook discussions on this!

Fizzfan said...

Really?! How funny!!!

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