#506 The disappearance of Rich Campbell

I started following Rich back when I started playing WoW again, in 2018/19. A few things have changed since then.

The full version of my reflections on his disappearance is available here on Medium. Please don't read it if the topic disturbs you.

Why publish my feelings about someone who was accused of a serious crime?

I believe in the potential benefits of sharing thoughts and feelings. I find Rich's disappearance intriguing. I had to leave a significant job at a big company and embraced WoW and Twitch at around the same time that he did.

I've seen people making their own minds up about the allegation. I guess they're free to do so. I haven't felt like it's my place to arrive at a verdict. And I certainly haven't felt like it's my place to arrive at one publicly.

Is it helpful or harmful for me to express thoughts and feelings online about someone who has allegedly done something awful? I don't know.

I don't think it's just about Rich. Him and Asmon were a team, for example. I used to enjoy watching Allcraft. And if there's never another episode, perhaps writing about some of my memories from that time will help me to close my internal book on a part of a chapter of my own life.

#505 An audio journal

I've made an audio journal on YouTube, which is available here: Audio Journal 

I started with one entry and my plan is to expand this to ten entries. The journal is largely self-reflective and deals with themes of encountering mild challenge, helplessness and motivation. Parts of some of the posts were recorded while I was walking through woodland.

The entries are, I hope, in some sense self-therapeutic, which is to say that I hope that they allowed me to reflect on my own thoughts and feelings and move toward a greater acceptance and understanding of them. I'm not sure to what extent I accomplished this.

I've always enjoyed both walking and journaling and while I haven't ever previously combined them, I recently found that I had some matters on my mind that I particularly wanted to process and this gave me the time and space in which to attempt that.

Where I've felt a desire to linger on a particular detail, such as a question about what to say, or why I'm saying it, I've let myself do so. This has allowed me a degree of patience with some thoughts and how I express them, that I wouldn't normally be able to indulge in, either in regular conversation or in conventional therapy.

How satisfying.

#504 Inferior peanuts

The large Sainsbury's was 30-40% lower in all stocks of dry food and household items, with many products completely unavailable.

I'd heard that shoppers were "panic-buying". That they were all being stupid. Was that really what was happening?

I knew some people were concerned. There'd be employers issuing guidance on isolating or working from home as a contingency plan. Japan had shut its schools.

I thought about individuals carrying out their weekly shops. Why not pick up a few extra items? Just in case. Afterall, I'd end up getting them in due course anyway. Who likes trudging around the shops every week? Come to think of it, why don't I buy more of these things regularly?

It only took a minority of shoppers to think like this for the shelves to start looking less full. Once it was noticeable, the chain reaction started. People who hadn't even thought about it suddenly became aware their favourite products might not be there next week. So they filled their trolleys.

I was able to get the items I'd gone in for but had to switch brands for most of them and came out with BBQ peanuts instead of chilli.

At the time, walking around depleted shelves had felt like an amusing novelty. When I got home, I heard that the Italian stores were out of pasta. 

It wasn't long before I found myself wondering  if the panic-buyers had the right idea afterall. Would it be the same next week? Could it even be worse? Maybe I should've got more peanuts.