Monday 28 August 2017

#233 Street trash

There's a skinny hag who loiters on the road to the station. Fuck knows how old she is. The nearest thing to ID she's carrying is the use by date on the Special Brew she swapped it for.

She's outside her favourite pub. "D'y'ave a fag mate?" she's asking the pedestrians. When they shake their heads, she goes and bothers each and every one of the drinkers, stumbling from one to the other, oblivious to the shoulder strap of her stained top, which has made its way down her arm. Before diving into the nearest shop, I look back at the pub. She's still trying to bum that fag.

See, to me she seems very employable. If I ran L'Oréal, I'd hire her instantly as the face of an advert reading: "This is what you'd look like if you never washed your hair".

By the time I exit the shop, she's given up and started staggering up the road, which is alright for the drinkers but I still have to pass her before I get to the station. She's going the same way but I'm by far the faster, or at least the straighter walker.

"Here we go" I think to myself. Then there's that whole awkward moment when I come up alongside her, smile nervously and hand her the pack. At first she doesn't work out what's happening. Then the scars and wrinkles break into a smile with expletives falling out of it. She throws her stinky arms around me while I stand there, hoping I'm not catching anything in the process.

"Come feed the little birds, show them you care
And you'll be glad if you do"

Feed the Birds, Sherman Brothers


Fizzfan said...

That's the funniest and nicest thing I've read in a long long time.
You are duly knighted young Sir and if I believed in God I'd bestow a very shiny halo upon you.
Did it make you feel good?

Profound Familiarity said...

Yeah, I got a real kick out of it because of her reaction.

Fizzfan said...

Its a nice thing to feel like you've made a big difference to someone's day, specially when she'd mostly be used to being ignored or abused.

I used to have a favourite homeless guy who used to be outside our old offices. He used to call me Ma'am which made me feel very confused and even more angry n guilty about the differences in our lifestyles. I still sometimes wonder how he's doing.

My sons Xs Mum actually took a homeless guy in. I could never decide whether she was nuts or not.
That's a big commitment.

Profound Familiarity said...

Yes that is impressive. The sort of thing most people have probably thought briefly about and immediately dismissed as too risky.