Thursday, 16 November 2017

#314 Visiting what's left of Bob Ranson

Would you like to come and visit grandad?
There's plenty of room in our car
If we leave right now, we'll arrive before lunch
He might not remember who you are.

Grandad! he's our grandad!
Even though he doesn't have a clue
If we leave right now, we'll arrive before lunch
That's what families do.

How's everything with grandad?
Are his trousers on the right way?
Is he mad as an ape? Has he tried to escape?
Is he picking a fight with the gay?

Grandad! he's our grandad!
He's a crazy homophobic old man
But we love him still, though he's mentally ill
And we do whatever we can

Everything's ok with grandad
Though he isn't eating any food
Wears his shoes in bed and he's injured his head
Won't get up unless he's in the mood

Grandad! he's our grandad!
Lonely, starving and confused
Slowly wasting away, lies in bed all day
Parts of his body are bruised

How was everything with grandad?
Yes he's fine, had two sips of his tea
He's a bit frail too, wouldn't recognise you
but I know that he recognised me

Grandad! he's our grandad!
And he's had two sips of his tea!
Yes he's doing quite well and his room has a smell
Surely he recognised me.

When shall we next visit grandad?
I'm free next week, let me know if you are
Still a funny old dude when he's in a good mood
At least his last months aren't suffering in unbearable agony like grandma

Grandad! He's our grandad!
Are these visits from strangers needed?
We'll be glad we've been, for the sake of routine
Probably suffering less than she did

Would you like to come and visit grandad?
There's plenty of room in our car
If we leave right now, we'll arrive before lunch
He might not remember who you are.

Grandad! He's our grandad!
He doesn't know it's Monday

But we go before lunch
Hope he doesn't throw a punch
Set his trousers straight
Check they've locked the gate
Fix his bleeding ear
Stop him fighting the queer
Check he drinks his tea
He remembered me
Back next week and then
Do the whole thing again

Cause we'll all be like that or worse one day.


Fizzfan said...

Funny, affectionate and sad. What a lovely lovely poem.
Did you write it?

I only remember one of my Grandads and he was always conveniently in the shed when we visited. The other one died in the war.

One of my Nans got dementia and the last time I popped in she didn’t know who I was. She still let me in though and was most insistent that I take my son (who was a toddler at the time) for a ride up the road in her wheelchair. After that and some tea n custard creams she waved us goodbye still clueless as to who we were but happy she’d had a visitor I guess.
I was a bit sad she couldn’t make out the family connection.

Hope you’re having a nice break:)

Dan Copping said...

I wrote this last night after visiting my last remaining grandparent.

I wasn't sure how mum would react but she was ok and laughed at bits of it.

Your Nan must have been a nice old lady to the end.

Enjoy your night out tonight.

Fizzfan said...

Loving that you wrote the poem! Could have happily graced the pages of a published book. Very impressive.

I’m sure your Mum loved it.

My Nan was a daily part of my childhood and a real character. Bit like Cissie from the old Les Dawson sketches. She loved her family fiercely and her favourite word was bullshit. Real old school, hairnet, big bosoms and bloomers brigade. They don’t make em like that anymore:)

Meal was absolutely lovely and memorably delicious. Hard to beat fillet steak n blue cheese sauce n chips with all the trimmings.

How’s your break going?

Dan Copping said...

They certainly don't. Do you think swearing was less or more common generations ago, or about the same? My grandad said "bugger" a lot but I think that was it really.

I came back to London yesterday. It went ok.

Fizzfan said...

I think their curse words were just as prolific, just different.
The F word’s still viewed like cryptonite as far as my Mum’s concerned, which I kind of understand, but my sister’s also made it her ‘I’m a force to be reckoned with so don’t you dare say that word in front of me’ mantra, which I find frankly yawn worthy.

Yeah staying away is a mixed bag sometimes. I like my own bed and stuff around me.

Dan Copping said...

I try not to swear too much.

I occasionally do in the blog but I view swearing as a sign of weakness, like smoking.

Agreed about staying away.