Saturday 21 November 2015

#129 Le pub

"So what do you think you'd want to do?" Lisha had been questioning me now for about half an hour. The head of our team at work had asked me the same question a couple of times lately too and I hadn't been able to answer it. Usually when you need a response from a magic 8 ball, you need to shake it, so that the little thing inside moves upwards to the surface. Maybe I needed a little shake. Or a big shake.

The reason I didn't write a blog post last weekend was that I would have written about how I broke into the house after locking myself out. I was worried that a burgler might read it and do the same. This was a stupid thing to think. I broke a window. Anyone can break a window. Aside from the shame of having done it, I was actually pretty pleased with the window that I got in through. Downstairs toilet. Barely bigger than a letterbox and twice the height. I laid a tshirt over the sill and wedged the partially broken frame against the outside wall by its latch to avoid broken glass. It fell down anyway onto my thighs as I finished into a handstand on the bathroom floor but the weight on the frame wasn't enough to push its remaining shards through my jeans.

The lady next door couldn't have been more helpful. I half made up my mind to break in while she was still surveying the situation with me but waited until she'd gone to actually do it.

Some good people turned out to Rich's birthday drinks on Friday night. I'm talking Phil Cole and John Twenty Two. I think he should get that number put on a football shirt. I won't forget to mention Ditch, his new bird or Sam Sugarman. Pleasant and entertaining company. I'm glad that Rich celebrated it with his friends. You only turn thirty once and as much as you might lament it, you've gotta admit, making it through another year is usually preferable to the alternative.

Sunday 8 November 2015

#128 A surprise discovery

Once upon a time, there was a little elf called Naomi. She lived in the enchanted forest where she went to school and played with her elf friends. Naomi's favourite elf game was a game called hide and seek. You might have played the people version of this game. Naomi was an expert hider. She could always find the best hiding places. One day, when she was out playing in the woods, she noticed the grassy mound next to the large bramble patch and said to herself "If I crouched down, I could hide behind that grassy mound". Over to it she went and crouched down behind it, giggling to herself. 

The minutes passed and the little elf became bored for her friend still had not found her yet. She looked around her surroundings. On the ground, next to the bramble patch, she saw a small wooden box. Curious, for Naomi was a curious little elf, she reached for the box, grabbed it and gave it a shake. Upon doing so, it felt disrupted in her hands, as though something was moving inside. Startled, she dropped it back to the floor and ran back to a nearby tree.

"I see you Naomi!" yelled her friend Marc, "I see you running! Hahaha". Naomi no longer really cared about the game. Relieved to hear her friend's voice, she hurried over and rejoined him. "I'm tired of hide and seek now" she said. "Let's return to the village and have milkshakes". Naomi knew that there was nothing Marc liked more than a strawberry milkshake. "That sounds like a great plan" he said. They picked up their shoes, for elves always play barefoot in the forest.

"Wait a minute" said Marc. "You must show me where your hiding place was. That's elvish tradition". "Behind the tree" she said casually. "No" said Marc, "you ran back to the tree but where did you run from?" "Ok" said Naomi "but there's something I found, near the big bramble patch. I'm a bit scared about what it is". Marc looked thoughtful for a moment. "Was it an object or an animal?" he asked. "An object" she said. "A small wooden box but when I shook it, something was moving inside as though I'd woken it up". "Would you like me to come and take a look at it with you?" asked Marc. "Yes but we have to be very careful" she replied, timidly. Marc nodded sympathetically, took Naomi's hand and together, the two friends crept back into the woods, in the direction of the large bramble patch.