Monday 4 December 2017

#332 Bye bye calendar

I think the first time I ate an advent calendar was back at uni. Ahh that's right. I'd been out with some friends and was monstrously hungry. Famished. I bought a cheeseburger and chips from Bimbi's, the restaurant near the market square. I then carried it the entire half-hour walk back to college but just before I got there, I drunkenly tripped up and dropped the lot of it onto the concrete. 25 days' worth of frustratingly tiny chocolates was hardly compensation but it was all I had.

It's sometimes said that we should try to learn from our challenges rather than dwell on them and from that incident, I learned that when one consumes a calendar, it is best not to even bother with the stupid cardboard doors but to open up the box from the top or bottom and slide the tray out. Then all that's needed is to pop the little chocolates out from their plastic casing and voila. Dessert is served.

I suppose a part of me feels shameful at having ruined twenty-five days' worth of tiny treats in under five minutes but they went to a good home. Plus, there's something really fun about eating the whole thing. It's like revenge for all those little moments of only being able to eat some pathetic little blob of chocolate each day, as though that was somehow exciting or fulfilling in any way. Then there's the added bonus of destroying something secular. Christmas should be about peace on earth, goodwill to all and the nativity story. Not some flimsy heretical indulgence. I mean c'mon people, What Would Jesus Do?

This year my calendar-completion skills have reached their peak. I ate mine about two weeks into November, before plenty of people had even bought theirs. See, you can't compete with me so don't even try. Ooh and it's 4th December now. Maybe I'll be able to get another one on sale. Yum.


Fizzfan said...

Countdown to Christmas.......I love and loathe it in equal measure but know I’d be sad if it wasn’t a ‘thing’.
Course it’s all about the presents and raging capitalism really but I guess if I just focused on the good will to all men stuff, I’d be a bit miffed and feel something was missing.
In fact I’ve almost decided that focusing on all the ills in the world is quite bad for you because there are just too many and just indulging yourself is a lot easier for short term feel good results, and buying presents is quite exciting.
Largely due to my festive spirit and running low on plates, I bought myself a bonkers new dinner service this weekend which is so madly bright, patterned and colourful, it just makes me happy looking at it.
Self indulgence sometimes is very good for you. Advent calendars, dinner sets, whatever takes your fancy really.

I’ve never had an Advent calendar. I feel I’ve missed out.....(bought my son lots though)

Running on empty said...

Lol, very funny post.

Profound Familiarity said...

I remember our headmaster at school lighting one of four red candles for each week of advent. A much more humble affair than the chocolate calendars we had.

Well done on your plates Fizz. I wonder if we can see a picture of them.

Thanks Cath, glad you found it funny.

Running on empty said...

In the catholic tradition it’s three purple candles and one pink, on a horizontal circular stand or wreath. Or maybe it’s three pink and one purple, I can’t remember. There’s one in the church every advent. It gets lit at mass. Some religious people might have them in their homes. I made one for my parents’ home in my teens.

Running on empty said...

I read this post to my family, they laughed.