Sunday 26 November 2017

#324 The power of King Solomon

"Aaaaaaaaaargh!" This is how I was greeted as I opened the door to the house near Camden Road. My host ran past me into the bedroom, threw the TV remote behind the bed and jumped up onto it. As he bounced up and down, a woman appeared and explained that the boy wasn't normally like that.

"Yes" I thought to myself "perhaps on Wednesdays he behaves like Rory McIlroy and at weekends like an Amazonian two-toed sloth". Or perhaps he was two years old and behaved like that the whole goddamn time.

If little Solomon did have any other operating modes, he certainly wasn't showcasing them for guests. His continuous screaming made it almost impossible to have a normal conversation. At one point, the mother started screaming at the child, during which time the child stopped screaming. Then when she stopped screaming, he started howling, which was just as disruptive.

To be fair to Solomon, his language was much cleaner than my housemate's boyfriend's. The woman assured me that her little darling's bedtime was early enough that his volume would never prevent me from getting to sleep myself, however she commendably admitted that he liked to get up at six or thereabouts. I was looking for somewhere quiet, not the opportunity to dispose of my alarm clock. I thanked Solomon and his parent for their tour and walked away muttering to myself.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no."


Fizzfan said...

I remember commenting on my fatigue through lack of sleep to my Father when my son was a baby. He seemed to think it was a nothing.
“I think you’ll find sleep deprivation is quite a good method of torture” was my rather terse response.

Yes you’re right NO NO NO!

Profound Familiarity said...

The leader of my volunteer group tells me that when the clocks change, incidents of heart attack increase by 23% as the body is under more stress from even an hour's less sleep.

I would say when the clocks go "back" or "forward" but I can never remember which is which because it could mean back in time, or back as in when you push something back, you postpone it.

Fizzfan said...

I only remember because of the saying Spring forward, Fall back (as in US version of Autumn)

Profound Familiarity said...

I remember that too, it just doesn't make sense to me. However, I do recall something about farmers needing more light in the morning in winter, so I think that's when we make the time earlier and then when spring comes, we make it later.