Sunday 3 September 2017

#239 A souvenir

Are spiders getting bigger? It's that time of the year here in the UK and I'm clearing one of those critters out of the house every day. I'm a very humane spider-remover. I use a mug and a postcard. For a few magic moments, they're transported in their own private cabin, straight into the garden. Flight time is around ten seconds and there's always plenty of legroom. 

Mosquitos I'm less tolerant with. They tend to get squashed by a Coca-Cola coaster. The cork underside is great for smushing them... cause otherwise their little insect parts might still be alive and feeling pain. What? I don't know how that works. It does seem far-fetched that insect pain even exists, let alone compares on any level to human pain but I don't know what it's like to be an insect, so I grant them the mercy of a swift execution.

Mozzies are the only thing I'll kill. If it's a fly, I'll guide it out. If it's a wasp, I can usually do the same, or trap it under a glass. Under slides the postcard, which remains beneath the glass until both are positioned on the rear lawn. I then kick or otherwise tip the glass over and run like an Olympian for the safety of the kitchen. After a comfortable time has passed, I retrieve the glass and postcard.

I use the same postcard every time. It's the one my sister wrote to her friends from our family holiday in Vegas. I delivered it to them by hand, as I'd recently moved in with them in East Dulwich. Years later, when we vacated the Dulwich house, I kept the postcard. Dad had arranged the once-in-a-lifetime Vegas trip to celebrate my mother's fiftieth birthday. My sister wrote the card out with so much excitement and signed off saying she loved her friends loads and loads and loads with six kisses.

In the months that followed, my parents divorced and my sister moved in with her new husband, telling her friends she didn't want to see them anymore. Like the insects that discover a cosy home only to be flung into the garden, the postcard is a reminder of a fortunate time and how quickly luck can change. It's also good for getting spiders out.


Fizzfan said...

My need for them not to be in my house overrides any consideration for their feelings, especially if they're those big mothers. Besides, look what they do if something ends up in their living quarters. Trapped in a long sticky exhausting death and then eaten. I have no regrets.
I have thought of investing in one of those long spider catcher contraptions. Like a long hoover tube. Only trouble is they're clear Perspex so not sure I could handle the visuals of drawing one closer to me.

Hope your sister n parents patched things up. My Sis and Dad haven't spoken for years (similar kind of thing)

PS I am humane. It's a quick death (unlike their victims) They are evil.

Profound Familiarity said...

It sounds like you do the best you can. You clearly have a hatred of arachnids and can't stand dealing with them any more than is necessary.

What makes you read blogs Fizz? I never really read any before I started writing one.

I find the word humane fascinating. I think it should imply "kind to humans" but it seems to be used in a variety of contexts, eg. methods of killing animals, which are neither kind to humans, nor at all kind to the animal, just less painful for it.

Fizzfan said...

Will have a think about blog question and catch you later. Just off out for lunch and to See Dunkirk @ pics.

Profound Familiarity said...


Fizzfan said...

I very rarely read other blogs. Just mainly yours n Cath's. Although I did have a look at Medium the other day and found some very good ones there too. I wouldn't comment on them though because I don't 'know' them.
I read your blog because Cath introduced me to it and your subject matter is nicely random, very well written, often quite deep n meaningful and sparks a few thoughts off for the day.
I also like the brevity of blogs. Little snapshots of just about anything, that make you think and you can comment on yourself.
I suppose it's the interactive nature of them that appeals more than anything. After a while, if you return (as with yours n Cath's) I guess a familiarity is built up and that's very rewarding in itself.
In a nutshell I suppose it's a way of connecting and sharing your thoughts but it's all done from the comfort of your own home, in your own time.

Written dialogue can be filled with far more depth and content than everyday conversation too, which is a breath of fresh air and appeals to my need to communicate about things a bit more complex than the weather sometimes.

It can be light, weighty, serious or fun.....It's a bit of a surprise every day and you start to build it into your routine and look forward to it.

I take my hat off to you for investing in putting something new up every day. It must be quite a challenge, not to mention a bit stressful, but importantly, you're very good at it:)

Profound Familiarity said...

What a thorough answer. Glad you like it.

The daily posts are more of a challenge than weekly but I wouldn't have called it stressful. If it gets too much, I might revert to weekly again at some point.