Something More Weekly

#170 Making up the guest room

From time to time, I go through a period of days where my dominant thoughts are of worry. It tends to be about my health, specifically, concerns about the future although it can be other things.

It's as though a short-lived flower of semi-demonic qualities suddenly sprouts inside my brain and occupies it for a while. Then eventually it withers as quickly as it appeared.

As far as I can tell, I inherited a certain level of, or inclination to worry from one of my parents. I suppose I might have been affected by an early experience or string of experiences. The rest, you could say, is on me.

The boundaries of a person might not be as rigid as they first appear. There's a little bit of you in my mind, a little bit of me in yours and any number of social mechanisms and complex hierarchies, some of which may be unknown to the people in them.

One theory is that a certain amount of negative energy exists in our collective consciousness and that some individuals effectively become dumping grounds for it while others, as if they were kings or queens are given the finest nuggets of uplifting messages and life-affirming humour. Some of this happens below the level of our everyday awareness. Some of it can be detected by observing our behaviour.

The worry comes and goes from my life. It's not something that has ever stayed. I don't mean to pretend that I'm the only person to have been visited by worry, that my concerns warrant it or that I wouldn't do better to handle it better.

What would happen if I demanded that my guest leave? Would it? Is that the point? Should we not welcome those who visit us and let them stay as long as they wish? A gracious host may appreciate that once we let something into our house, it says more about us to throw them out than it does about them. This depends how forcefully the guest entered and how it behaves while it's there.