Saturday 7 March 2015

#101 Let's go!

Da da da da da da da da Boom! I'm laying on the sofa listening to the Lemmings 95 soundtrack. I love how they "remixed" all those classical tunes, churned them around in some kind of 90s midi and spat it out all over the game. You get the feeling that they really had fun making it and can listen to the results here.

Last year I didn't go for the 'run loads' or 'date more' (I know... shut up) resolutions and instead made one to myself just to be happier. Worst. Resolution. Ever. I mean what does that even mean? That you have to be grateful for everything the whole time? How laborious. Then you have to try and figure out what actually makes you happy... I dunno... more cake? Cause the only thing I have any energy or enthusiasm for is more cake... so that had pretty much better be the bloody answer.

So this year, instead of wanting to be happier, I decided to try to be myself more. Now this makes even less sense because being yourself is not something that any one of us can avoid no matter how hard we try. You can't be David Beckham. You just can't. That's not how it works. So... where was I? 

This week a couple of times I decided instead of spending every single waking minute looking at a screen, before I went to bed, I'd take like twenty or forty minutes or whatever and just do nothing for a while... at about 9pm. It was pretty cool. I just sat in my room and let only two thin blades of streetlight come in through each set of curtains. So I did nothing for a short while... and then checked my phone a couple of times of course and went to sleep, at a reasonable time for a change.

The results the next day were astonishing. It could have just been the springtime sunshine. I felt normal though. It was as if my mind was fixed. No more constant stream of unmanageable and exhausing thoughts. No more underlying uncertainty and fear. I could talk to people a bit more confidently too. So I might try this again.


1 comment

Running on empty said...

Some people don't project themselves, but someone they think the world wants to see. You put it out there on your blog, who you are. That's mighty.