Sunday 21 April 2013


#14 Don't walk

I've never really understood the idea of a sponsored walk. A person might just as well get sponsored for sitting on their arse watching TV for five hours. They would have to watch something they hate of course, without their phone or laptop or anyone to talk to. Granted you have the whole "fresh air and exercise" argument but really if you're going to do that then the very least you can do is break into a light jog. You'll reach your destination quicker and you might even get some real exercise while you're at it.

At the other end of the spectrum, we have Tsegaye Kebede, who can run 26 miles in about two hours. The inconsistency is deliberate. One should generally write out in full numbers below ten (at least). I thought about this for a while and just about managed to work out that the guy had managed to sustain a pace of about thirteen miles an hour... for two hours. That's incredible. It certainly puts your average person's 5k, 10k and half marathon times into perspective, which brings me on to my next point. 

The lazy bastard only ran half! You know who I'm talking about. Ooh look at me, I'm an Olympian, I'll use my celebrity status to blag a spot in one of the most over-subscribed races in the world and then I think I'll quit half way. You idiot. If everyone did that, there wouldn't even be a marathon. Now stop ruining it for the rest of us and go back to running short distances.

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