Saturday 16 July 2016

#159 Two beers and an orange juice

This week I met up with a friend of mine. Someone I've known for a good few years. It's the kind of friendship where I like her, I guess she thinks I'm ok, I don't really know. We'll message every now and then. Every so often I'll do something that pisses her off. We chat about it but then I'm wondering like, if we'll always be friends or if one day she'll decide she's had enough.

People ask me why I spend time with this person. Why do I do it? There are other people out there. If I wanted to. If I made the effort, I could probably find new people to hang out with. Why am I still hanging out with this person if it's up and down all the time?

So I say ok fine, what exactly is wrong with my friend? They might even suggest some things. They might say she's too feisty, cares too much about certain things, or that she just doesn't suit me that much. I say what if it's me that's the problem? Should I just try and hang out with new people anyway? What if I have the same problems? Besides I don't want to just go out there and try to make new friends, that takes effort, I don't want to spend my free time doing that.

If she's not the problem, if I'm the problem then there's no point. Building a friendship takes time. It means something. It's like an investment. That's what I tell them. That's what I tell myself.

This week when we hung out, I explained myself to her again, like I sometimes do. Why I did or didn't do something. What I think happened, to the extent that I could describe it. This time it feels like she actually listened to me. It doesn't make me right. It was a difficult discussion but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed being listened to. Having a voice. Bringing my thoughts to the table.

She said to me but if I ever piss her off again, we're done.

So that was something that happened one evening this week.


Dad said...

Nice one Dan - have a good week who-ever you're with......

Running on empty said...
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Running on empty said...

I have a friend like that. I liken it to walking through a minefield, I don't know when one is going to go off. But she scatters diamonds for me to find, so I go back in the minefield again...
Because she is brilliant.