Something More Weekly

#136 A review of The Force Awakens

Boy was I excited. The last film I'd seen at the cinema was the Deathly Hallows Part Deux in 2011. I'm not a big fan of popcorn, or almost any situation where I have to spend more than two hours without the internet. I'd just finished work for the holidays and was walking back to the station when I noticed that one of my friends had changed her profile pic to one of her with a lightsaber beam in it. I stopped, lent against a pillar and got a ticket to a screening that started in a couple of hours, which would be enough time to get to Marble Arch and eat a pizza.

It's difficult reviewing a film when you can't really remember it. It's not that it was boring or anything, I just have a sucky memory.

Kylo Ren doesn't have Vader's majesty, only his fashion sense. He's like some futuristic hipster. It's not because he hasn't matured into his totally evil self yet, it's just who he is. Anakin was seriously charming even when he was younger. How did Han and Leia manage to produce such a wretch of a being? He makes me nautious. This wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing but I'm struggling to find a character in the whole film that has the type of quality that he lacks.

Rey seems very strong but she hasn't fully found her power yet. Plus she's a workaholic. It's understandable because she has always been impoverished but it's unfortunate because neither her, not that noob of a Stormtrooper have any sexual orientation whatsoever. I mean I get it, the film is about the force awakening and probably in the next film, it'll be a bit more awake. My problem is that I can't see any of the characters turning into someone that I could see myself going for a beer with and that bothers me.

Don't get me started on the droid that is basically a football, he even ended up in a net at one point, which is enough to keep the majority of Britons entertained for at least 90 minutes.

I'm not saying it was a bad movie. It was dark and gritty although part of that might be because I watched it in an old cinema. Sometimes in life, two hours pass and you don't meet anyone you really like. That's realistic. I generally enjoyed it because I was eager throughout, to find out what would happen next, even though it all occurred a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. I'm looking forward to the next one.

A lot of my enthusiasm comes from the fact that I love StarWars in general. I'd probably give it eight out of ten. For context, I wouldn't have given Episode One less than seven.